America, Land of the Free $6 Entry Fee

July 4th, Independance Day, in war torn, devastated America. Ever since George W changed the declaration to read "life, shopping and the pursuit of criminals" the nation has gone steadily downhill. The military has collapsed after the ill-fated "America needs YOU to fight for its oil profits" campaign folded. People are forced to excercise their right to arm bears, because if Mexico invades, it'll be the last thing they expect. The campaign against potential terrorists (aka foreigners) requires all suspects to be fingerprinted, photographed and charged for the privilege; the fewer people that get in, the fewer trouble makers there will be.
Unpatriotic acts of dissidence, such as sending up fireworks in the old British colours of red, white and blue are tolerated for now, but a crack down could come at any time. Food is sold by what it isn't; lo-carb bread, no-sugar sugar and organic no sugar no carb no fat dolphin friendly "soy good" chocolate. Complaints by people who want dolphin unfriendly chocolate have gone unheeded.


In soviet russia, freedom of speech. In America, freedom after speech also -Yakov Smirnoff